Hitler’s Rascals (HR) and Filthy Finance, No more Brothers-in-Arms!

#49

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Some time back, I was interacting for a potential assignment for a Global MNC Major, when the EHS director, out of bolt from blue, said to me that my credentials have to be vetted by HR! I grudgingly agreed to the process, fortunately it was nothing more than hello/Hi just to be sure that I was not a friend or known to EHS guy for ages !!! That gave me a thought on writing a post today on HR and Finance the two functions which has supported me immensely in the first Fifteen years of my career (1985-2000) such that the HR and Finance folks were like Brothers-in-arms. However, over the last decade or so, like Churchill rightly predicted of Indians and its leaders (Wonder why he missed Indian INC) and how Indian shit would hit the fan these two functions have got rotten for whatever reasons !! churchill

90% of Human Resources function is very Bad HR which is ugly and horror film with existing protocols to meet their needs and no value add to business. Finance again 95% has become Junk with powers given by management to cut costs without rhyme or reason and stupid legal aspects like Dodd Frank Act, Sorbonne Oxley etc etc have only added Petrol to the raging fire in the name of compliance. Common sense in entities has gone out of window! ( It is another matter that all the financial laws in the developed world would have been read up to last full stop and comprehended only by 1) Chinese Govt to find loop holes to exploit 2) The Economist magazine team to write an essay)  I can’t thank my stars enough that I got out the rut and shit a good five years back. I can’t help wonder how the next generation would manage the stench and filth that is out there in these two functions and even deliver outputs to be productive and meaningful. The good news is the shit is of same stench is across the world, so be it a developing world or Developed world the rogue elements in these two decaying Functions are out to screw everything that stands for Employee involvement, engagement, motivation, Autonomy, Mastery, purpose that nurtures organisation. ( I am sure there other elements too, but I am not going there now for this post)

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So what folks can do work when your Brothers-in-arms have become Jack Shit and you need to get things done!

  1. Develop relationship, I have written tons on this, Relationship power alone delivers 70% of results. Keep connected to people, get to know people. Develop a personal chemistry with folks, even in the Evil HR and Fouled up finance, there will be folks who are doing what they are doing due to business pressure or organisation culture. They always know a solution and way out to any issues to your advantage after all it is not personal. It all boils down to relations and give and take. Nothing works like personal chemistry, relations and being there for folks at work place and beyond work place. 

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  2.  Plan Plan Plan:- The best results in adverse work environment are done with a great planning. Lincoln sums up aptly. Work on what can work well, what would go wrong, what are alternate options, what is in it for all stakeholders. What alternate way to reach the goal should there be one. Work the attention to details, that is very essential. Many EHS folks miss this out and struggle when probed a bit deep thus whole plan losing credibility. 

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  3. Document, Document Bloody well document. Whatever you work on projects, people, programs, protocols, keep a work diary and document them with notes. While it may appear like COVER YOUR ASS (CYA) for addressing workplace issues, even Good HR would require documentation evidence for working actions when issues appear. This is very essential. 

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  4. Distinctly know the difference between Effectiveness and Efficiency!!  This goes a long way to deliver results come what may be the external environment around you! Peter Drucker uses the term”Effective Executive” not efficient executive. 

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  5. Develop financial Acumen, work the basics of costing, budgeting, the key financial terms. Work everything from Zero based budgeting. That way you would not be hoodwinked by bad financial folks who can get around bull shitting. These days any manager needs Integrated thinking to cover all aspects of business like Finance, Soft Sills, Marketing, sales, operations, productivity at a basic level to add value to their work. A good business management degree may go some way. (Thank god I did one to kill flying time) I am still thankful for skills I picked up for justifying my Million $ SHE (That is how my chairman named the dept!!!)  budgets to my chairman for his annual approval good 2 decades back using Zero based budgetting.  Remember to look at variance, that is a killer! Any effective process gets hindered if variance creeps in. 

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   6) Pre wire, Pre wire, Pre wire:- Despite getting everything right, there would be always folks who wont see things the way you see. So work a meeting/discussions in an informal set up and we call this the pre wire. Agree to the common minimum ground and work a consensus so that when the final meetings happen things go smooth sail. Remember it all boils to relationship and networking to reach out as well as TRUST. Remember to get results delivered you need to follow up! 

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I can list on and on but I guess EHS folks get the essence, in short, great managers deliver results day in day out in spite of Bad Hitlers Rascals (HR) and Fouled Financial filth as hindrances. They take such adverse situations as a challenge to relish and deliver stellar results, rather than go timid and blame or use excuse to justify failures. Remember, no one knows your job better than you in your area of work/domain expertise and let your results speak for itself.  Don’t let others intrude and dont give an inch ? Would you allow them in to your bedroom to teach you F***ing skills ???? As simple as that!!!! Screen Shot 2017-06-08 at 4.17.01 PM

Good Luck and God bless

Karthik

8/6/17, 1630 Hrs. 

Author: Karthik B; Orion Transcenders. Bangalore.

Lives in Bangalore. HESS Professional of 30+ yrs experience. Global Exposure in 4 continents of over 22 years in implementation of Health, Environment, Safety, Sustainability. First batch of Environmental Engineers from 1985 Batch. Qualified for implementing Lean, 6Sigma, HR best practices integrating them in to HESS as value add to business.

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